The Noocratic Republic of Mally Piznoopia is a colossal, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Zeno of Citium with an even hand, and notable for its anti-smoking policies, national health service, and ubiquitous missile silos. The compassionate, hard-working, democratic population of 5.039 billion freethinkers have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Industry, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Alexandria. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 83.8%.

The frighteningly efficient Piznoopian economy, worth a remarkable 1,164 trillion Pizns a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Arms Manufacturing, and Book Publishing. Average income is an amazing 231,020 Pizns, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 676,873 per year while the poor average 62,192, a ratio of 10.9 to 1.

A rusted hulk in Alexandria harbour has been voted the worst eyesore in Europe, government theft from poor artists to give to rich allies has been dubbed the "reverse Robin Hood" policy, puppies given out free in marketing promotions are often tossed straight into the trash, and it's believed that women's brains will overheat if they think for themselves. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Mally Piznoopia's national animal is the Great Blue Heron, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Stoicism.

Mally Piznoopia is ranked 18,033^rd in the world and 307^th in Europe for Safest, scoring 114.98 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.