The Oriental Republic of Dizgovzy is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Alex Tashenov with a fair hand, and remarkable for its museums and concert halls, anti-smoking policies, and national health service. The compassionate, democratic population of 10.987 billion Dizgovzians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The enormous, liberal, socially-minded, outspoken government prioritizes Education, with Healthcare, Environment, and Administration also on the agenda, while Spirituality and Defense aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Hlazbaúrg. The average income tax rate is 90.9%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Dizgovzian economy, worth a remarkable 1,285 trillion euros a year, is quite specialized and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing, Information Technology, and Basket Weaving. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 117,001 euros, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Explicit slash fiction is repackaged for kindergarten kids as stories about friends cuddling friends, code enforcement officers circle wealthy Dizgovzians like vultures, customs officers pretend not to hear shouts of "HELP LET ME OUT!" emerging from diplomatic bags, and concussed lynxball players cannot remember their lineup position. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Dizgovzy's national animal is the lynx, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Orthodox Christianity.

Dizgovzy is ranked 3,218^th in the world and 64^th in Europe for Safest, scoring 138.57 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.