The Free State of Eli is a behemoth, efficient nation, ruled by Eli Hutton with an even hand, and remarkable for its strictly enforced bedtime, sprawling nuclear power plants, and complete lack of public education. The hard-nosed, hard-working, devout population of 52.083 billion Elians are free to succeed or fail in life on their own merits; the successful tend to enjoy an opulent (but moralistic) lifestyle, while the failures can be seen crowding out most jails.

The minute, pro-business government, or what there is of one, is solely concerned with Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Eli City. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Elian economy, worth an astonishing 11,563 trillion New Merits a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing, Uranium Mining, and Pizza Delivery. Average income is an amazing 222,021 New Merits, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 997,700 per year while the poor average 30,514, a ratio of 32.7 to 1.

Giggling teens are asked to put their mouths on rubber dolls, soldiers must key in their passwords every time they want to reload their weapons, cigarettes are dead-cheap, and greenhouses are regularly raided by the police. Crime is all-pervasive, probably because of the absence of a police force. Eli's national animal is the squirrel, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Eli is God.

Eli is ranked 91,354^th in the world and 49^th in Equilism for Most Conservative, scoring 68.42 on the Bush-Santorum Dawning Terror Index.