The Dictatorship of Das Pettan is a massive, orderly nation, remarkable for its compulsory military service, anti-smoking policies, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 2.318 billion Das Pettanians are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The medium-sized, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Administration. The average income tax rate is 62.8%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Das Pettanian economy, worth 362 trillion Guras a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, broadly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Uranium Mining. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 156,565 Guras, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.3 times as much as the poorest.

Cash-strapped junkies lick rabbits for a cheap high, the new airport at Mr. Giles' farm is panicking his sheep, the "war on terror" doesn't seem to be making Das Pettanians any less frightened, and the nation is noticeably more cheerful on Tuesdays. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Das Pettan's national animal is the Shark, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to heavy metals seepage into national waterways.

Das Pettan is ranked 276,679^th in the world and 635^th in 10000 Islands for Most Primitive, scoring -293.08 on the Scary Big Number Scale.