The Kingdom of PlanetMercury is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Freddie Mercury with an even hand, and remarkable for its smutty television, compulsory military service, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, humorless, devout population of 9.029 billion PlanetMercuries are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Kensington. The average income tax rate is 72.2%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient PlanetMercuryian economy, worth a remarkable 3,058 trillion pounds a year, is fairly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Woodchip Exports, and Uranium Mining. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 338,784 pounds, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.6 times as much as the poorest.

People often feel unbalanced by their daily commute, the government's religious works are headed by a New Age guru, what's in your genes matters more than what's in your jeans, and stone wrist watches that weigh 20lb are the latest trend. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. PlanetMercury's national animal is the Cat, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

PlanetMercury is ranked 281,788^th in the world and 6,203^rd in The North Pacific for Most Beautiful Environments, with 5.2 pounds of wildlife per square mile.