The Colonial Empire of Ijonia is a massive, orderly nation, ruled by King Juok II with an iron fist, and remarkable for its enslaved workforce, avant-garde cinema, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, cynical, devout population of 1.485 billion Ijonins are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Administration, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Ijonanus træsus. The average income tax rate is 62.4%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The powerhouse Ijonese economy, worth 144 trillion Ijonian dollars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a slick, highly efficient black market in Arms Manufacturing, Tourism, Information Technology, and Uranium Mining. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 97,505 Ijonian dollars, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.6 times as much as the poorest.

The hills are alive with the smell of burning flesh, government bureaucrats shut down teenage yard-raking businesses for being counter-revolutionary, people accuse the government of being in bed with Big Safety, and teachers regularly paddle unruly students. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Ijonia's national animal is the Orko yelur, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Christianity.

Ijonia is ranked 240,667^th in the world and 5,392^nd in The North Pacific for Most Cheerful Citizens, with 47.09 Percentage Of Water Glasses Perceived Half-Full.