The Classy Realm of Half-Milers is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Warren Douglas with a fair hand, and renowned for its multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, otherworldly petting zoo, and anti-smoking policies. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 34.902 billion Half-Milersians hold their civil and political rights very dear, although the wealthy and those in business tend to be viewed with suspicion.

The enormous, liberal, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Environment, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Alexandria. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Half-Milersian economy, worth an astonishing 15,967 trillion Eleanors a year, is highly specialized and mostly made up of the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 457,497 Eleanors, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.6 times as much as the poorest.

Warren Douglas's media campaigns take a hiatus around exam week, Half-Milersian diplomacy is by the book, people with political aspirations study how to make balloon animals, and a performance of the hit musical "Mamma Tua" has been delayed after squatters were found sleeping in the orchestra pit. Crime is totally unknown. Half-Milers's national animal is the Archie, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Half-Milers is ranked 293,746^th in the world and 58^th in Wysteria for Highest Disposable Incomes, with zero Standard Monetary Units.