The Classy Realm of Half-Milers is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Warren Douglas with a fair hand, and remarkable for its multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, daily referendums, and smutty television. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 30.734 billion Half-Milersians hold their civil and political rights very dear, although the wealthy and those in business tend to be viewed with suspicion.

The large, liberal, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Environment, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Alexandria. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Half-Milersian economy, worth an astonishing 14,064 trillion Eleanors a year, is highly specialized and led by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing and Information Technology. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an amazing 457,635 Eleanors, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Urban entrepreneurs are busy introducing cockroaches into restaurant kitchens, politicians "baring all" for the camera isn't always a figure of speech, funerals are often rudely interrupted by juggling clowns shouting for volunteers from the audience, and schools have extensive counseling programs for troubled students. Crime is totally unknown. Half-Milers's national animal is the Archie, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Half-Milers is ranked 14^th in the world and 2^nd in Wysteria for Most Beautiful Environments, with 16,102.29 pounds of wildlife per square mile.