The Republic of Etnon is a massive, genial nation, ruled by Peigi Åland with a fair hand, and renowned for its national health service, compulsory vegetarianism, and restrictive gun laws. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 3.136 billion Etnonians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent, outspoken government stops and the rest of society begins, but it juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Santana. The average income tax rate is 95.8%.

The frighteningly efficient Etnonian economy, worth 314 trillion Euros a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity. The industrial sector, which is extremely specialized, is mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing. Average income is an impressive 100,255 Euros, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

A National Academy regulates grammar and usage, helping grandma with her Misgendering 101 homework is a national rite of passage, the "Underwear of Women in Power" issue of The Santana Times is sold out, and you can bet your bottom dollar that gambling will cost you an arm and a leg. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Etnon's national animal is the Bear, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Etnon is ranked 4,563^rd in the world and 88^th in Europe for Safest, scoring 132.37 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.