The Bar on the corner of every regionBoard

Brocklandia wrote:

By the way, why do you never post on your own home region's RMB?

Feline Masters wrote:

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In the meantime, like a college hooman trying their best to meet the word count for their expository writing essay, I shall write a long and thoughtful post on the importance of cats. Cats were highly esteemed in Ancient Egypt and indeed one may reasonably claim that no other hooman culture (!) on this planet ever came as close to giving cats due respect as Egyptians did. Egyptian hoomans treated cats as the gods they were (and still are), mummified them when they died and buried them with proper rites, recognizing and respecting our souls. They also worshipped Bastet, the venerable cat goddess of the Egyptian lands.[1]

This is indeed what bugs me when people say that 'Dog' is 'God' spelled backwards, because dogs make very lousy gods, they lack the dignity to begin with. They have a servile attitude and this, my scratching posts, is ungodly to say the least. But I digress.

Cats have also made important contributions to the hooman civilizations, which often goes unrecognized. This is partly due to hooman ignorance but also partly due to the lobbying activities of certain malicious actors (cf. dog-lovers, I am looking at you). For centuries, there has been a dark propaganda campaign waged against me and my folk, cats have been called 'uncaring', 'ungrateful', 'mean' and our poor ears have heard even more insulting epithets, that's for sure. In the meantime, we were only busy saving hoomans' a$$es from the various problems they were having, some of which were downright lethal.

Throughout Europe, in medieval times, cats have unjustly been accused of being 'embodiments' of the devil, for instance. These genocidal tendencies resulted in the widespread persecution and extermination of cats.[2] While the silly European hoomans thought that they were killing the material form of devils or demons in this way, they were actually preparing their own gruesome death... in the hands of a vile bacterium, Yersinia pestis - or the plague bacterium, as you less educated hoomans might not be familiar with the scientific terminology pertinent here.

As you see, by killing domestic cats, hoomans had been killing the greatest and - dare I say - most intelligent and skillful predators of rats, who were often infested with the fleas that carried the plague bacterium.[3] Shortly thereafter, hoomans were being decimated by the behemoth created by their own stupidity. This is one way - perhaps the most consequential - where disrespect for cats led to disastrous outcomes.

Then of course, we have other significant contributions that need to be mentioned. At this point, I must necessarily pay homage to some remarkable cats in history, for example the ever-amazing Felicette, my Parisian conspecific who bears the awe-inspiring title of "First Cat in Space." [4] Then, of course, equally remarkable; we have the eminent scientist F.D.C. Willard, who was a physicist and co-authored many influential physics publications with his hooman. He was a Siamese cat, and did extensive research on low-temperature physics.[5] I must say, Prof. Willard's interest in physics was not idiosyncratic at all. Cats are usually very intellectually curious (that's why curious hoomans are affectionately called 'Curious Cats') and intelligent and diligent enough to conduct top-notch scientific research. Most cats have a natural aptitude for mechanics and thermodynamics - the former, you may have witnessed. Hoomans often either maliciously or ignorantly assume that cats are being 'naughty' when we push glasses and mugs of tables and shelves, but in reality, we are just conducting experiments in gravity. You may have witnessed our interest in thermodynamics as well. We are very good at generating a thermal map of various spaces, and then orienting ourselves towards the warmest and coziest parts in that space. That is, of course, impossible without a thorough understanding of thermodynamics, and F.D.C. Willard's success in this field also serves as proof of our keen ability in this matter.

Then of course, F.D.C. Willard was relatively lucky, because at least he received credit for his work. There are other cats whose contributions were never acknowledged. For example, I have it on good authority that a certain hooman (whose name may or may not be Erwin Schroedinger, depending on whether you are looking at his birth certificate or not) was in a domestic partnership with a fabulous cat who was scientifically inclined and who was doing research on quantum mechanics with the humble means she was provided. She was fascinated with observer effects and quantum indeterminacy, she found it mind-blowing that she didn't know if her bowl had food in it or not, unless she walked over and peered into it - especially because the tasteless kibble Schroedinger was feeding her also lacked odor, but thankfully she was very capable of supplementing her diet with the mice and birds she was regularly hunting. This casual observation, upon further thought, led her to develop theories that would have been nothing short of earth-shattering at the time. Alas, she was a cat and unfortunately a cat who lacked powerful connections in the field who could help get her papers published in journals. So her meowiscripts were hidden away from public eye... until her hooman, who was also trying hard to become a physicist, discovered her paper drafts crumpled in between some cozy blankets and he was about to scold her for smearing ink on the beige blankets until... he looked closer and noticed that the papers weren't filled with meaningless scribbles but his cat had been writing elaborate and frankly ingenious formulae all over these papers. Shamelessly, he pocketed the drafts, wrote a 'clean' hoomanuscript and published it, with one key difference: To add insult to injury, instead of the example of a cat's kibble bowl, he used the cat as his 'prop' to explain the theory of indeterminacy to people. He cruelly joked about a cat trapped inside a box, whose life or death was made the morbid topic of discussion in physics circles; and while he thus cat-apulted himself to fame in academia, his poor cat (whose name hitherto remains unknown) was struggling with a kidney disease and would - alas! - die shortly thereafter. Oh the irony, for we have an answer to Schroedinger's dilemma now: his cat is _dead_. Irrevocably, irretrievably, irresuscitably, irresurrectably _DEAD_. It's the finality of this passing of this wonderful, smart cat and the indifference, no the sadistic pleasure of her hooman at the news, that should send shudders down our spines.[6]

The historical essay I have shared above was 1,070 words, and I believe I earned my right (!) to post on this RMB now. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll go back to my much-needed nap, but I am very willing and more than able to continue this conversation at a later point (and if the conversation happens to turn out to be a monologue, I am fine with it as well, since these are things that need to be said).

Further reading:
1. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bastet
2. https://www.thevintagenews.com/2018/10/16/cats-in-the-middle-ages/
3. https://owlcation.com/humanities/Cats-and-the-Black-Plague
4. https://www.theguardian.com/science/2023/sep/09/first-cat-space-felicette-orbit-humans-earth-atmosphere
5. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/F._D._C._Willard
6. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schr%C3%B6dinger%27s_cat

Feline Masters wrote:

A crocodile? Yeah, that's a lil out of my comfort zone, buddy.

Zany Zanes wrote:

Also, I don't appreciate your list of supposed intellectuals, nor any allusions to me being on it, as a dig at anyone else. Neither am I impressed with you dredging up the name of an old friend to take part in this petty dispute.

Feline Masters wrote:

I am a person who likes clarity and it seems this is a proper moment for y'all to make up your mind about what kind of an environment you want to foster here. If you want things to be unhinged/hostile (if this is now the norm, and a certain player's recent attitude towards me has been hostile), I am happy to play along, not taking personal offense because I consider it to be an IC-banter.

If you think you want to keep this space cute and friendly and think that IC-banter is offensive on an OOC-level, well then, tell your staff to knock it off and I won't bother anyone either.