The Free Market Republic of West Hempstead is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Dow Jones with an even hand, and renowned for its rum-swilling pirates, rampant corporate plagiarism, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless population of 26.427 billion Customers have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The minute, corrupt government, or what there is of one, is effectively ruled by the Department of Industry, with Education and Healthcare also on the agenda, while Welfare and Spirituality aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Pepsi-Cola. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient a Customer economy, worth an astonishing 10,169 trillion Big Macs a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Gambling, and Book Publishing. Black market activity is frequent. Average income is an amazing 384,811 Big Macs, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Visitors to the famed rainforests are instead taken to vast furniture factories, the police force is on a recruitment drive, citizens are regularly found digging for treasure in their gardens, and many politicians are having to do a hard day's work for the first time in their careers. Crime, especially youth-related, is so common that it is unusual to encounter someone following the law, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. West Hempstead's national animal is the working class, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

West Hempstead is ranked 294,315^th in the world and 38^th in Libertatem for Lowest Crime Rates, with 1.72 law-abiding acts per hour.