The Kingdom of Old World Order is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by King Darius Banovic I with an iron fist, and notable for its closed borders, zero percent divorce rate, and avowedly heterosexual populace. The hard-nosed, cynical, devout population of 7.774 billion Croats of old world are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Law & Order, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Delminium. The average income tax rate is 93.9%.

The frighteningly efficient Croatian economy, worth a remarkable 1,133 trillion Kunas a year, is led by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Retail, Book Publishing, and Arms Manufacturing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 145,808 Kunas, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.2 times as much as the poorest.

Traffic jams are a common sight due to construction work from a massive overhaul of the nation's freeways, the nation's best artists are considered pretty easy to beat, houses and businesses are bulldozed to make way for ever-expanding cemeteries, and politicians accost strangers in the street to ask their problems. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Old World Order's national animal is the Dinaric Tiger, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Roman Catholicism.

Old World Order is ranked 278,408^th in the world and 1,318^th in Europe for Largest Gambling Industry, scoring -11.78 on the Kelly Criterion Productivity Index.