The South PacificBoard

Act I

Murelia, a socially awkward young cub, is the target of teasing and ridicule by the shallow and egotistical RMB cool kids, Drystar, PenguinPies, Concrete Slab, and Fudgetopia. He spends his time in his room listening to classic Geriatric League songs ("Eternity") and perpetually daydreams of a getting a glamorous job as regional pollster to get out of the dead-end beach town of Knowhere and away from his domineering father, Amerion, a corrupt politician who constantly belittles his spouse, Beepee, and their six children: Murelia, Volaworand, Somurias, The eternal swedish empire, Nicholas and Great Britain, Funkinburg who bicker constantly among themselves about communism. ("Commie sus/You're Horrible medley")

Murelia attends the wedding of Drystar and Ladyrebels, during which he sees Ladyrebels and Fudgetopia playing pattycake in a coat room. Wedding guest Bear connors paradiso, a store detective, calls the CRS on Murelia for stealing the lampshade he is wearing, and officer Kringalia arrives to publicly escort Murelia out of the reception. ("Get off My Lawn")

Murelia is ashamed and depressed. Murelia's "friends" officially kick him out of their group after clarifying that he won't be accompanying them on a forum-side holiday. Amerion's rumored mistress, Auphelia, recruits Murelia into her multilevel marketing medical supply business, and Beepee signs a blank cheque for Murelia to buy sample Hot Pink Hello Kitty Band-aid's for the business, but Murelia instead uses the cheque to withdraw $12,000 and follow his former friends to the forums anyway. There, Murelia runs into a trans Curlyhoward, an old RMB acquaintance, and fellow outsider who was the target of the cool kids abuse. They quickly strike up a friendship, cemented when Curlyhoward gleefully tells Drystar about Fudgetopia and Ladyrebels. ("Your secret")

Murelia returns home to Knowhere and is confronted by Beepee regarding the stolen money. Murelia immediately runs away to The South Pacific, sharing a flat with Curlyhoward and changing his name to Mariel. He gets a job as a Local Councilor, meeting and briefly dating an awkward but kindly older coworker, Erinor. ("Fleeting Love")

Act II

While out clubbing together one night, Curlyhoward suddenly falls down, apparently paralyzed. While at TSP Hospital And Tetanus Emporium, Murelia calls home to ask for help with the bill, but learns his father, Amerion, is being investigated for taking bribes. Curlyhoward has a large pimple pressing on their spine and undergoes multiple operations to drain it at the hospital, but complications arise leaving them permanently unable to walk. ("Nurse Skirts") Murelia promises Curlyhoward to look after them and never let them go back to Knowhere. He also uses Curlyhoward's health crisis to obtain pampered service in TSP's discord channel, stealing lampshades and taking selfies to indulge his political pollster dreams. When Curlyhoward discovers what Murelia has done, Murelia finally confesses to his fixation on creating the perfect regional poll, and they have an angry fight. ("No-no-Notorious"). Curlyhoward tells him to leave.

Desperate and homeless, Murelia enters into a conspiracy to develop a regional poll with Pencil Sharpeners 2 so that he can join Team TSP in the upcoming Pandalympics; he is paid $10,000 by Pencil Sharpeners 2 for his part in the scheme. At the kickoff of Murelia's elaborate multi-part regional poll in TSP, he brags and shows off as Drystar, PenguinPies, and Concrete Slab vote in the poll; Curlyhoward, disgusted by Murelia's behavior, refuses to vote. ("Back in My Day") Amerion is now openly treating Auphelia as his partner. When Beepee arrives late to the regional poll, due to being distracted by Funkinburg's dance of distraction, Murelia doesn't even notice Beepee. ("Our Lady of Funk") Heartbroken with the breakdown of thier friendship, Curlyhoward moves back to thier mother's home in Knowhere, unable to live in TSP without help. As the regional poll concludes, Pencil Sharpeners 2 makes his contempt for Murelia clear. ("You're Horrible reprise")

Act III

Back in Knowhere, an increasingly distraught Beepee absentmindedly shoplifts a pair of sandals, and Bear connors paradiso calls the CRS. Amerion arranges for the charges against Beepee to disappear in exchange for his guilty plea on the bribery charges. Soon after, a despondent Beepee pleads with Amerion for help, but he announces his intention to banject Beepee and marry Auphelia. Beepee is later found dead by Volaworand. Murelia returns home to Knowhere to make arrangements. Auphelia claims Beepee had a heart attack, but Volaworand reveals to Murelia that Beepee committed suicide. ("Lost in Time")

Murelia breaks down at the funeral, and Pencil Sharpeners 2 comforts him. They play a gentle game of pattycake together. Beepee's death forces Murelia to take a hard look at his life, and he tells Pencil Sharpeners 2 that he can no longer take part in the polling scheme, and he wants to stop lying. ("Pudding") Pencil Sharpeners 2 understands and encourages Murelia to be more assertive.

Amerion asks Murelia to help raise his siblings, as Auphelia is less likely to marry him with six children in tow. He has also lost his job on city council. Murelia stands up to him, giving him $5,000 of his ill gotten poll money and telling him he will repay the rest of the stolen amount when he gets a job back in TSP. Impressing his father with his more assertive personality, Murelia demands that he stop his verbally abusive treatment of his siblings. ("Cane-Cane")

Murelia goes to Curlyhoward's house, where Murelia's former tormentors are visiting, and offers to take Curlyhoward back to TSP. Curlyhoward accepts and lets the cool kids know what they thinks of them. ("No-no-Notorious/You're Horrible medly") Murelia and Curlyhoward head to the airport, happily leaving Knowhere behind for a more promising future in TSP. ("A New Day Has Come")