The United States of Wars Forever is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by CATS with an iron fist, and remarkable for its compulsory military service, anti-smoking policies, and zero percent divorce rate. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 31.689 billion Wars Foreverians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The tiny, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, although Industry and Law & Order are also considered important, while Environment and Social Policy receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Underground Ketchup. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Wars Foreverian economy, worth an astonishing 18,590 trillion dollars a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Retail. Black market activity is notable. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is a breathtaking 586,660 dollars, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 4,004,855 per year while the poor average 31,132, a ratio of 128 to 1.

Many of the poor live from cradle to grave without ever seeing sunlight, a survey of the nation's rivers and children has shown that pesticide levels are at an all-time regional high, the new "Bloodbath" orange tree autonomously seeks and destroys independent orchards, and citizens who become homeless are immediately executed. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, despite the fact that it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many laws. Wars Forever's national animal is the Giant enemy crab, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Atheism.

Wars Forever is ranked 1,133^rd in the world and 3^rd in Wysteria for Lowest Crime Rates, with 167.07 law-abiding acts per hour.