The United States of Wars Forever is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by CATS with an iron fist, and notable for its infamous sell-swords, avowedly heterosexual populace, and anti-smoking policies. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 27.805 billion Wars Foreverians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The tiny, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Industry, Law & Order, and Education also on the agenda, while Environment and Social Policy aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Underground Ketchup. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Wars Foreverian economy, worth an astonishing 15,883 trillion dollars a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Retail. Black market activity is frequent. Average income is a breathtaking 571,246 dollars, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 2,403,548 per year while the poor average 88,102, a ratio of 27.3 to 1.

Birds and children's kites are regularly brought down by anti-aircraft fire, Wars Foreverians wonder "if a tree falls in the woods with no credible witnesses, who wants to know?", the military invades any neighboring nation with the gall to criticize its policies, and kids only know what plants are because they've seen them on the television. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, despite the fact that it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many laws. Wars Forever's national animal is the Giant enemy crab, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Atheism.

Wars Forever is ranked 255,731^st in the world and 73^rd in Wysteria for Highest Drug Use, scoring 2.4 on the Pineapple Fondness Rating.