The Irenic Republic of Velke is a colossal, safe nation, ruled by Council of the Republic with a fair hand, and renowned for its state-planned economy, irreverence towards religion, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, democratic population of 2.869 billion Velkeeren are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The enormous, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Mietter. The average income tax rate is 84.0%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The strong Velkeer economy, worth 208 trillion kaalses a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism and Retail. Average income is 72,555 kaalses, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The 'Museum Of Stuff We Stole' is a tourist favourite, sex changes are routinely performed at Velke's hospitals, criminals rejoice in the streets as the entire police force is sent away on a training retreat, and art is not complete without a touch of alizarin blood and titanium sweat. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Velke's national animal is the black kite, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies.

Velke is ranked 312,849^th in the world and 173^rd in Democratic Socialist Assembly for Largest Pizza Delivery Sector, scoring -13.2 on the Pepperoni Propulsion Productivity Index.