The Empire of Valkarun is a fledgling, genial nation, notable for its compulsory military service, irreverence towards religion, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, hard-working population of 6 million Valkarunians are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The medium-sized, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Welfare, Law & Order, and Education. The average income tax rate is 36.4%.

The strong Valkarunian economy, worth 320 billion marks a year, is quite specialized and dominated by the Trout Farming industry, with significant contributions from Basket Weaving, Furniture Restoration, and Book Publishing. Average income is 53,405 marks, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.5 times as much as the poorest.

The diplomatic corps tends to open negotiations by insulting all the foreigners in the room, all major public areas are watched by police surveillance cameras, the alarmingly racist TV show 'Bigtopians Say the Darndest Things' is a hit, and passive-aggressive congratulations cards inform mums-to-be that their pregnancy is their greatest achievement in life. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Valkarun's national animal is the cobra.

Valkarun is ranked 243,955^th in the world and 2,453^rd in the Pacific for Highest Unexpected Death Rate, scoring 28.59 on the Bus Surprisal Index.