The Free Land of The Moist Biscuits is a colossal, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Slippery Pete with a fair hand, and remarkable for its frequent executions, state-planned economy, and ban on automobiles. The compassionate, democratic population of 4.022 billion Moist Humans love a good election, and the government gives them plenty of them. Universities tend to be full of students debating the merits of various civil and political rights, while businesses are tightly regulated and the wealthy viewed with suspicion.

The enormous, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The Puddle. The average income tax rate is 91.1%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Moist economy, worth 466 trillion biscuits a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism and Book Publishing. Average income is an impressive 115,926 biscuits, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Convicts released after being found "wrongfully imprisoned" are surprisingly chill about the whole thing, devout parents encourage their children to play on the street, it turns out you can teach cats new tricks, and the tax department is having withdrawal symptoms. Crime is totally unknown. The Moist Biscuits's national animal is the oyster, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans, and its national religion is Secretion-ism.

The Moist Biscuits is ranked 50,656^th in the world and 57^th in Communitas for Lowest Crime Rates, with 78.48 law-abiding acts per hour.