The International Port Authority of Telosa is a titanic, socially progressive nation, ruled by Chairman Willem Laurier with a fair hand, and notable for its public floggings, irreverence towards religion, and suspicion of poets. The hard-working, democratic population of 10.452 billion Telosans are effectively ruled by a group of massive corporations, who run for political office and provide their well-off citizens with world-class goods and services. Their poorer citizens, however, are mostly starving to death while being urged to go out and get real jobs. The populace has reasonably extensive civil rights, although these are mostly aimed at allowing them to buy whatever they like.

The tiny, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Welfare, Education, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Port. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 7.9%.

The strong Telosan economy, worth 711 trillion Tarkin Dollars a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Gambling industry, with major contributions from Door-to-door Insurance Sales, Soda Sales, and Trout Farming. Average income is 68,033 Tarkin Dollars, with the richest citizens earning 7.8 times as much as the poorest.

Chairman Willem Laurier has just been declared ruler of Telosa in an international press conference, tourists are denied entry because of a distant relative married to a Lilliputian, recruitment posters proclaim the army to be both fabulous and fashionable, and more citizens have access to Maxtopian Grass than clean drinking water. Crime is moderate, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Telosa's national animal is the Nautilus, which can occasionally be seen avoiding garbage in the nation's murky oceans.

Telosa is ranked 30,331^st in the world and 23^rd in Tarkin for Highest Disposable Incomes, with 62,658.46 Standard Monetary Units.