The Red Hot Sizzler of Sexy Santa is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Grinch with an iron fist, and renowned for its frequent executions, compulsory military service, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 13.777 billion Sexy Santans are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Bardufoss. The average income tax rate is 88.0%.

The frighteningly efficient Sexy Santan economy, worth a remarkable 3,235 trillion Silver Sixpenceses a year, is fairly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Tourism, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Information Technology. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an amazing 234,853 Silver Sixpenceses, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.8 times as much as the poorest.

Child labor has been outlawed, black market eau de toilette is made in bathroom labs across the nation, prospective secessionists nervously declare how worthless and unimportant they are, and families are left homeless as entire suburbs are bulldozed on the whim of tribal chiefs. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Sexy Santa's national animal is the Reindeer, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Jinglebellism.

Sexy Santa is ranked 10,867^th in the world and 2^nd in Doll Guldur for Lowest Crime Rates, with 99.51 law-abiding acts per hour.