The United States of Seallshwazia is a tiny, cultured nation, notable for its compulsory military service and restrictive gun laws. The hard-nosed, cynical, devout population of 14 million Seallshwazians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Spirituality, Law & Order, and Defense. The average income tax rate is 48.5%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The Seallshwazian economy, worth 475 billion francs a year, is led by the Pizza Delivery industry, with major contributions from Cheese Exports, Book Publishing, and Basket Weaving. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 33,956 francs, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.2 times as much as the poorest.

Harry Potter books are banned, talkative students are escorted from schools in second-hand prison buses, the government awards prizes to television shows featuring stereotype-breaking minority roles, and trust-fund babies line up for places in community college. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Seallshwazia's national animal is the dove.

Seallshwazia is ranked 173,159^th in the world and 885^th in the Outback for Largest Welfare Programs, scoring 941.33 on the Safety Net Mesh Density Rating.