The Royal Council of Moskovalkia is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Emperor Moskovo VI with an iron fist, and remarkable for its museums and concert halls, otherworldly petting zoo, and enslaved workforce. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 17.49 billion Moskovalkians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The enormous, corrupt, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, although Education, Healthcare, and Industry are also considered important. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Moskovopolis. The average income tax rate is 96.7%.

The frighteningly efficient Moskovalkian economy, worth a remarkable 4,067 trillion Moskovo Pounds a year, is mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Uranium Mining. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an amazing 232,589 Moskovo Pounds, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.7 times as much as the poorest.

The inside lane of every highway is for parked vehicles only, people think "siege mentality" is a positive trait, volunteers are signing up to take arms against an incursion of flesh-eating zombies (Moskovalkia has found 1 easter egg), and the military has gone fission for more funding. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Moskovalkia's national animal is the Put-in Rat, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Moskovaanity.

Moskovalkia is ranked 22,511^th in the world and 19^th in New Warsaw Pact for Highest Food Quality, scoring 109.12 on the Meeshlin-Starr Index.