The Kingdom of KurkinBurg is a massive, safe nation, ruled by Eugene Fitzgerald with an even hand, and renowned for its frequent executions, enforced nudity, and suspicion of poets. The quiet, industrious population of 2.458 billion KurkinBurgers are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed, including voting. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The medium-sized, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Healthcare, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Kurkstadt. The average income tax rate is 25.3%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The strong KurkinBurgian economy, worth 122 trillion Checkmarks a year, is led by the Automobile Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Cheese Exports, Uranium Mining, and Information Technology. Black market activity is frequent. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 49,845 Checkmarks, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Defense lawyers suggestively note to juries how flagrantly happy victims were, companies flee the nation rather than pay their fair share of taxes, deceased politicians' MyFace profiles are unanimously pro-incumbent, and smoking is banned in public areas. Crime, especially youth-related, is well under control, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. KurkinBurg's national animal is the Mountain Goat, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Monadism.

KurkinBurg is ranked 191,194^th in the world and 9,816^th in Osiris for Largest Populations, with 2.46 billion capita.