The Republic of Kispaming is a mammoth, genial nation, ruled by Sapagan with a fair hand, and notable for its daily referendums, ubiquitous missile silos, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 8.981 billion Kispamingians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The large, liberal, socially-minded, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Spagmik. The average income tax rate is 99.9%.

The frighteningly efficient Kispamingian economy, worth a remarkable 2,700 trillion pesos a year, is led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 300,685 pesos, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Structures are raised on promises, trade policy consists of ganging up on the new guy, years of counter-terrorism planning are foiled by small details, and it is illegal to distribute Girl Guide Cookies without an advanced food hygiene diploma. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Kispaming's national animal is the hamster, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is None.

Kispaming is ranked 3,684^th in the world and 78^th in the Pacific for Most Eco-Friendly Governments, scoring 9,569.46 on the Dolphin Recycling Awareness Index.