The Allied Socialist States of Fitzerlandia is a massive, socially progressive nation, ruled by Josef Rodriguez with a fair hand, and renowned for its rum-swilling pirates, smutty television, and irreverence towards religion. The compassionate, democratic population of 1.673 billion Fitzerlandians love a good election, and the government gives them plenty of them. Universities tend to be full of students debating the merits of various civil and political rights, while businesses are tightly regulated and the wealthy viewed with suspicion.

The large government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Administration, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Ville d'Or. The average income tax rate is 72.6%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Fitzerlandian economy, worth 159 trillion Marks a year, is quite specialized and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Arms Manufacturing, and Beef-Based Agriculture. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 95,599 Marks, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The armed forces are locked in an expensive and bloody war abroad to stamp out possible terrorists, foreign leaders' Twitcher accounts are monitored for potential threats to national security, the nation's reputation for treachery has left it sidelined on the international stage, and the nation's universities are often mistaken for foreign embassies. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Fitzerlandia's national animal is the Ant, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Atheism.

Fitzerlandia is ranked 43,826^th in the world and 177^th in Carcassonne for Most Compassionate Citizens, scoring 48.85 on the Kitten Softness Rating.