The Kingdom of Etuaria is a very large, genial nation, notable for its museums and concert halls, avowedly heterosexual populace, and national health service. The compassionate, cynical, devout population of 346 million Etuarians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The enormous, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Rome. The average income tax rate is 75.3%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The thriving Etuarian economy, worth 29.7 trillion Lire a year, is led by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Beef-Based Agriculture, Furniture Restoration, and Trout Farming. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 85,962 Lire, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.3 times as much as the poorest.

The government's giant servers are often used as a tourist trap, picnickers are lucky if a few wasps are the only animals that trouble them, the institution of marriage is held sacred and strictly enforced, and politicians accost strangers in the street to ask their problems. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Etuaria's national animal is the Lamb, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Etuaria is ranked 148,822^nd in the world and 40^th in Union of Christian Nations for Largest Pizza Delivery Sector, scoring 869.95 on the Pepperoni Propulsion Productivity Index.