The Pub of Cynical Alcoholics is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, ruled by czar casm with an even hand, and notable for its rum-swilling pirates, frequent executions, and smutty television. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless population of 47.551 billion Alcoholics are either ruled by a sleek, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

The tiny, corrupt government is primarily concerned with Education, with Industry and Law & Order also on the agenda, while Social Policy and Welfare are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Scotchistan. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Cynically Alcoholic economy, worth an astonishing 16,430 trillion corpses a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Retail, and Gambling. Average income is an amazing 345,543 corpses, with the richest citizens earning 7.9 times as much as the poorest.

Foreign powers often deal with problems that Cynical Alcoholics can't handle, diplomats expel enough hot air to cause forest fires, the value of the corpse is directly tied to the strength of the previous hurricane season, and automotive regulators are throwing in the towel. Crime, especially youth-related, is pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Cynical Alcoholics's national animal is the pink elephant, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Alcoholism.

Cynical Alcoholics is ranked 38,921^st in the world and 29^th in Hell for Largest Trout Fishing Sector, scoring 5,171.58 on the Nemo Depletion Efficiency Index.