The Empire of Cuchimilco is a colossal, socially progressive nation, ruled by Emperor Cuyu the Hatunuc with a fair hand, and notable for its barren, inhospitable landscape and spontaneously combusting cars. The hard-working, democratic population of 3.463 billion Cuchimilcans live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The minute, pro-business, outspoken government, or what there is of one, prioritizes Defense, although Education, Public Transport, and Welfare are also considered important, while International Aid and Spirituality are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Mochica. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 5.5%.

The Cuchimilcan economy, worth 146 trillion Potes a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is dominated by the Basket Weaving industry, with significant contributions from Pizza Delivery, Book Publishing, and Door-to-door Insurance Sales. Average income is 42,193 Potes, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 282,984 per year while the poor average 2,361, a ratio of 119 to 1.

Cuchimilco has designated Mochica as its capital city, Emperor Cuyu the Hatunuc has just been declared ruler of Cuchimilco in an international press conference, and the government has declined to declare any particular religion as its 'official' one. Crime is a major problem, probably because of the absence of a police force. Cuchimilco's national animal is the Wiri Wiri, which can occasionally be seen sifting through garbage in the nation's cities.

Cuchimilco is ranked 325,999^th in the world and 793^rd in Horizon for Most Advanced Law Enforcement, scoring -3.16 on the Orwell Orderliness Index.