The Dominion of Crisis is a mammoth, orderly nation, ruled by Alexander the Great II with an iron fist, and remarkable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, prohibition of alcohol, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 7.324 billion Crisitts are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The large, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Hadjno. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 64.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Crisisinian economy, worth 813 trillion Hakkles a year, is quite specialized and dominated by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Retail, Gambling, and Woodchip Exports. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 111,109 Hakkles, with the richest citizens earning 6.3 times as much as the poorest.

Toothpaste is a mealtime delicacy, a stocking with a crooked seam or a tie without a full Windsor knot are grounds for instant dismissal, only those who apply can study applied maths, and antique comic book collectors are disappointed to hear that their treasures are worth exactly as little as their mothers said they were. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Crisis's national animal is the Grub, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Worshippers of the Bountiful Sky.

Crisis is ranked 321,924^th in the world and 2,358^th in the Rejected Realms for Highest Drug Use, scoring 5.78 on the Pineapple Fondness Rating.