The Private Stash of Cocaine is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by The Drug Lord with an iron fist, and renowned for its public floggings, infamous sell-swords, and frequent executions. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, cheerful population of 25.612 billion Cocaineans are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The relatively small, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Education, Industry, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Medellin. The average income tax rate is 96.4%.

The frighteningly efficient Cocainean economy, worth an astonishing 17,994 trillion ounces a year, is broadly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, Retail, and Book Publishing. Average income is a breathtaking 702,598 ounces, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.6 times as much as the poorest.

Hidden bedroom-cams are installed to catch mothers doing their kids' homework, the nation's museums are real penny-pinchers, all major public areas are watched by police surveillance cameras, and distrust of taps has many people bathing only with bottled mineral water. Crime, especially youth-related, is so common that it is unusual to encounter someone following the law, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Cocaine's national animal is the artic fox, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Cocaine.

Cocaine is ranked 1,235^th in the world and 1^st in Cocaine for Most Scientifically Advanced, scoring 938.97 on the Kurzweil Singularity Index.