The Constitutional Monarchy of Celesteaux is a massive, safe nation, remarkable for its compulsory military service, triple-decker prams, and public floggings. The hard-nosed, cynical, devout population of 2.437 billion Celesteauxians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, with Law & Order, Healthcare, and Education also on the agenda, while International Aid and Welfare are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Comète. The average income tax rate is 41.5%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The large but inefficient Celesteauxian economy, worth 104 trillion Pièces a year, is quite specialized and dominated by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Basket Weaving, and Woodchip Exports. Black market activity is notable. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 42,557 Pièces, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Oil executives can be seen reluctantly cleaning oil-soaked birds, hot dogs have been renamed lukewarm pigs, conspiracy theorists allege Comète's new subway map resembles Satanic symbols, and truncheon-mounted cameras record the beating of criminals in dynamic HD detail. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Celesteaux's national animal is the Pomarine Jaeger, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Celesteaux is ranked 119,663^rd in the world and 45^th in Der Leibwache for Most Extensive Public Healthcare, scoring 1,473.84 on the Theresa-Nightingale Rating.