The Everlasting Empire of Bej is a titanic, efficient nation, ruled by Micheal Petrov with an even hand, and notable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, otherworldly petting zoo, and pith helmet sales. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless population of 16.708 billion Bejians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The relatively small, corrupt government prioritizes Defense, although Law & Order, Industry, and Education are also considered important, while Environment and Welfare aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Beki. The average income tax rate is 35.6%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Bejian economy, worth a remarkable 5,239 trillion Bejis a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Retail, and Uranium Mining. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an amazing 313,599 Bejis, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.3 times as much as the poorest.

Pop stars who make it big overseas are hailed as economic heroes, street food vendors are accompanied by personal fleets of garbage trucks, aristocracy is given the bird and called out as a lark, and bin lorries have replaced birds as the source of the dawn chorus. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Bej's national animal is the Bejian crocodile, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Bej is ranked 208,054^th in the world and 2^nd in The West Pole for Highest Drug Use, scoring 79.1 on the Pineapple Fondness Rating.