The United Socialist Republic of Konzhov is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Comrade Stalinkovich with an iron fist, and notable for its aversion to nipples, ubiquitous missile silos, and state-planned economy. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 15.146 billion Konzhovians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The enormous, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government prioritizes Law & Order, although Education, Healthcare, and Defense are also considered important, while Spirituality receives no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Sovda. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Konzhovian economy, worth a remarkable 2,979 trillion USRK Rubles a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is dominated by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Beef-Based Agriculture, Furniture Restoration, and Uranium Mining. Average income is an impressive 196,726 USRK Rubles, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The number of judges has tripled in recent months, no personal detail is too tiny for the suede-denim census police, victims of crime are viewed as less trustworthy than politicians, and school uniforms are compulsory. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Konzhov's national animal is the Konzhovian brown bear, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Konzhov is ranked 3,644^th in the world and 81^st in Europe for Most Beautiful Environments, with 2,767.96 pounds of wildlife per square mile.