The Federation of Altiche is a tiny, socially progressive nation, renowned for its ban on automobiles, state-planned economy, and irreverence towards religion. The compassionate, democratic population of 8 million Altichans are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The enormous, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Welfare, Education, and Healthcare. The average income tax rate is 71.2%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The basket case Altichean economy, worth 82.5 billion Kons a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is mostly made up of the Trout Farming industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Door-to-door Insurance Sales, and Cheese Exports. Average income is 10,318 Kons, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Every week is blindness awareness week, a primitive society is being eroded as its youth flock to the modern world, there is a heavy social stigma attached to e-cigarettes, and lobotomies haven't been the same after the practice was severed. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Altiche's national animal is the Octopus, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans.

Altiche is ranked 309,380^th in the world and 233^rd in Eladria for Largest Pizza Delivery Sector, scoring -12.37 on the Pepperoni Propulsion Productivity Index.