The Ancient Imperium of Alistia is a titanic, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Arawn Ymerawdwr Tywyll yr Isfyd with an iron fist, and renowned for its anti-smoking policies, compulsory gun ownership, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, cynical, cheerful, devout population of 24.456 billion Alistians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The enormous, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Industry, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Teml Awyr. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Alistian economy, worth a remarkable 6,325 trillion Doegs a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing and Tourism. Average income is an amazing 258,660 Doegs, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.2 times as much as the poorest.

Trolls insist that strings of racial slurs mean "good morning" in obscure languages, people with hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia faint upon diagnosis, structures are raised on promises, and virtually all of the country's economic activity takes place in Teml Awyr. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Alistia's national animal is the Akhal-Teke, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is the Ecclesia Hominibus.

Alistia is ranked 304,941^st in the world and 6^th in The Mystical Alliance for Largest Trout Fishing Sector, scoring -19.94 on the Nemo Depletion Efficiency Index.