The 🍪 Tropical Biscuit Paradise of Aumeltopia is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by the Aumeltopian SPIT Company with an even hand, and notable for its pith helmet sales, complete lack of prisons, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate population of 11.879 billion Aumeltopians enjoy extensive civil rights and enjoy a level of social equality free from the usual accompanying government corruption.

The large, liberal government juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of ʻAruā Harmonia. The average income tax rate is 62.5%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The large but inefficient Aumeltopian economy, worth 397 trillion biscuits a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity. The industrial sector is mostly comprised of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, although the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 33,480 biscuits, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Recognizing the Aumeltopian flag qualifies you for citizenship, stray cats threaten the fledgling avian-based internet, busy commuters no longer hear the cries of "I want some more!" on the nation's streets, and The Aumeltopian SPIT Company's told that love often manifests itself through homicidal four-lettered litanies. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Aumeltopia's national animal is the raccoon, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is tribal animism.

Aumeltopia is ranked 42,849^th in the world and 813^th in the South Pacific for Most Primitive, scoring 60.12 on the Scary Big Number Scale.