The Empire of Of The Virgin Islands is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Emperor South with an iron fist, and renowned for its pith helmet sales, zero percent divorce rate, and frequent executions. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 13.672 billion Virgin Islandians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Imperials Dawn. The average income tax rate is 94.7%.

The frighteningly efficient Virgin Islandian economy, worth a remarkable 3,676 trillion Virgin Pounds a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Woodchip Exports. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 268,891 Virgin Pounds, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Enterprising game developers are a hop, skip, and a double-jump away from arrest, virtual assistants are seen with increasing suspicion every time they get an upgrade, asthmatics can now suffer the effects of polluting chimneys from further away than ever before, and as dissatisfaction with the system waxes the only things to be sure of are death and taxes. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Of The Virgin Islands's national animal is the Merkel, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Virginity.

Of The Virgin Islands is ranked 284,553^rd in the world and 15^th in The Monarchy alliance for Highest Foreign Aid Spending, scoring -17.61 on the Clooney Contribution Index.