The Federated Giraffe State of Giraffeton is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by Professional Giraffe with a fair hand, and notable for its state-planned economy, absence of drug laws, and restrictive gun laws. The compassionate, democratic population of 5.385 billion Giraffetonians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The large, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Giraffeton City. The average income tax rate is 68.6%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Giraffetonian economy, worth 623 trillion Giraffereums a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is dominated by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing, Tourism, and Furniture Restoration. Average income is an impressive 115,695 Giraffereums, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

It's surprisingly hard to find pictures of the bad haircuts from Professional Giraffe's childhood, major cities are suffering under water rationing, a sudden shout of "surprise!" does not herald a party for teachers, and the government is promoting multicultural values with the new 'Just Be Nice, OK?' initiative. Crime is totally unknown. Giraffeton's national animal is the Giraffe, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Giraffeton is ranked 214,085^th in the world and 76^th in The Giraffe Federation for Largest Insurance Industry, scoring -4.73 on the Risk Expulsion Effectiveness Rating.