The Federated Giraffe State of Giraffeton is a mammoth, safe nation, ruled by Professional Giraffe with a fair hand, and renowned for its complete lack of prisons, soft-spoken computers, and restrictive gun laws. The compassionate, democratic, humorless population of 9.756 billion Giraffetonians love a good election, and the government gives them plenty of them. Universities tend to be full of students debating the merits of various civil and political rights, while businesses are tightly regulated and the wealthy viewed with suspicion.

The large, socially-minded, outspoken government prioritizes Education, although Administration, Healthcare, and Environment are also considered important, while Defense and Spirituality are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Giraffeton City. The average income tax rate is 86.0%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Giraffetonian economy, worth a remarkable 1,254 trillion Giraffereums a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Furniture Restoration. Average income is an impressive 128,572 Giraffereums, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Religious citizens are closely monitored for signs of self-harm, the building of bureaucratic rivalries has exceeded targets, crops are flattened as farmers bludgeon insects to death, and most barbers are also surgeons. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Giraffeton's national animal is the Giraffe, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Giraffeton is ranked 13,821^st in the world and 1^st in The Giraffe Federation for Most Compassionate Citizens, scoring 58.5 on the Kitten Softness Rating.