The Confederacy of Mulaonia is a huge, genial nation, renowned for its avowedly heterosexual populace, compulsory military service, and aversion to nipples. The compassionate, cynical population of 632 million Mulaonians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Healthcare, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Clackzburg. The average income tax rate is 70.4%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The powerhouse Mulaonian economy, worth 61.6 trillion Clack Mulas a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Beef-Based Agriculture, Book Publishing, and Furniture Restoration. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 97,459 Clack Mulas, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Orange trees find it's not easy being green, prison walls have had to be modified to keep parkour-trained criminals from escaping, when electric cars arrived nobody heard them coming, and therapists dispense hugs for heroin dealers and cuddles for crackheads. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Mulaonia's national animal is the Chicken, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Mulaonia is ranked 23,127^th in the world and 6^th in Roses Without Thorns for Most Beautiful Environments, with 945.11 pounds of wildlife per square mile.