I personally don't consider the neocortex requirement to be the main loophole of this proposal. It is a correct clause unless we consider WA costum of using the (terrible imo) term "sapient" to include AI personhood. This same proposal is trying to avoid AI personhood opposition in its text, but this excessive sci-fi detail allows argumentations to include every fantasy species (insectoids, reptilians, undead, talking plates from the Beauty and the Beast) in order to oppose most of WA resolutions.
My biggest concern is the necessity of proving the mosquitoes Brezzians are killing this summer were hosting Plasmodium malariae in order to not be considered a people of specicides.