The Kingdom of Zlotii is a titanic, cultured nation, ruled by Michał II with an even hand, and notable for its smutty television, aversion to nipples, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, democratic, devout population of 12.995 billion Zlotiians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The enormous, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Nowlpolsk. The average income tax rate is 98.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Zlotiian economy, worth a remarkable 2,262 trillion Zloties a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing, Tourism, and Cheese Exports. Average income is an impressive 174,069 Zloties, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Election results are often delayed for weeks to count the expat votes, living well is no longer the best kind of revenge, multiple births are a cause of celebration for tax collectors, and a sudden shout of "surprise!" does not herald a party for teachers. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Zlotii's national animal is the White eagle, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Catholicism.

Zlotii is ranked 12,334^th in the world and 123^rd in 10000 Islands for Most Scientifically Advanced, scoring 387.64 on the Kurzweil Singularity Index.