The People's Republic of Zetastan is a gargantuan, genial nation, ruled by Zartan Bridgelaw with an even hand, and remarkable for its museums and concert halls, soft-spoken computers, and irreverence towards religion. The compassionate, cheerful population of 19.683 billion Zetastanis are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The medium-sized, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Industry, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Zeddagrad. The average income tax rate is 98.3%.

The frighteningly efficient Zetastani economy, worth a remarkable 7,099 trillion Zetastani Shekels a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is broadly diversified, is led by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Average income is an amazing 360,693 Zetastani Shekels, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The realistic depiction of tentacles is on the core syllabus of most art schools, weekends are spent tilting at windmills, weapons are only sold to foreign governments that are legitimate enough to not bounce the cheque, and stranded mountaineers can watch livestreamed footage of their rescues. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Zetastan's national animal is the pheasant-spotted boar, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is State Atheism.

Zetastan is ranked 1,964^th in the world and 39^th in The Communist Bloc for Most Beautiful Environments, with 3,722.5 pounds of wildlife per square mile.