The Constitutional Monarchy of Zeekelonia is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by Zeek the Cruel with an even hand, and notable for its compulsory military service, zero percent divorce rate, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless, devout population of 43.772 billion Zeekelonians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The minute government, or what there is of one, is solely concerned with Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Beech Grove. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Zeekelonian economy, worth a remarkable 9,173 trillion Zeekmarks a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is fairly diversified and led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Beef-Based Agriculture, Retail, and Pizza Delivery. Average income is an amazing 209,567 Zeekmarks, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 630,588 per year while the poor average 54,332, a ratio of 11.6 to 1.

Frustrated teenage boys are told that if they like it then they should have put a ring on it, record sales of 'child-whacking sticks' have been reported, there is a thriving underground gay scene, and on-call doctors who check their pagers during movies are banned from cinemas for life. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Zeekelonia's national animal is the Eager Beaver, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Zeekelonia is ranked 159,994^th in the world and 1^st in Tunguska for Largest Gambling Industry, scoring 273.82 on the Kelly Criterion Productivity Index.