The Constitutional Monarchy of Zeekelonia is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Zeek the Cruel with an even hand, and remarkable for its deadly medical pandemics, aversion to nipples, and smutty television. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, humorless, devout population of 39.515 billion Zeekelonians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The minute government, or what there is of one, is solely concerned with Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Beech Grove. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Zeekelonian economy, worth a remarkable 7,902 trillion Zeekmarks a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is fairly diversified and led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Beef-Based Agriculture, Retail, and Pizza Delivery. Average income is an impressive 199,987 Zeekmarks, with the richest citizens earning 7.8 times as much as the poorest.

Facial disfigurement is a leading cause of supervillainy, senior citizens can usually be found doing heavy manual labour, frequent fliers are obliged to submit to invasive security procedures by government security, and the might of the nation's military are undertaking a long march to colonisation in Brasilistan. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Zeekelonia's national animal is the Eager Beaver, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Zeekelonia is ranked 268,481^st in the world and 1^st in Tunguska for Best Weather, with -361 meters of sunlight.