The Ugliest Cows of Wawa Fea Vaca is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Chief Council Heifer with an even hand, and renowned for its compulsory military service, irreverence towards religion, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, hard-working population of 4.525 billion Wawans are free to succeed or fail in life on their own merits; the successful tend to enjoy an opulent (but moralistic) lifestyle, while the failures can be seen crowding out most jails.

The tiny government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Industry, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Old Bovinetown. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 5.8%.

The powerhouse Wawa Fea Vacan economy, worth 379 trillion vacitas a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Gambling, Automobile Manufacturing, and Soda Sales. Average income is 83,902 vacitas, with the richest citizens earning 9.5 times as much as the poorest.

Young and brooding teens are welcomed with open arms to the Dogwarts School of Strangeness and Sorcery, every workday begins with group therapy, the nation is now proudly cholera-free, and badminton was recently banned due to 'unacceptable violence' inherent to the game. Crime is moderate, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Wawa Fea Vaca's national animal is the cow, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Wawa Fea Vaca is ranked 137,895^th in the world and 36^th in Wysteria for Least Corrupt Governments, with 93.1 percentage of bribes refused.