The Imperial Mandate of Valeania is a mammoth, genial nation, ruled by Emperor Wallace with an even hand, and remarkable for its ban on automobiles, ubiquitous missile silos, and labour-free parental leave. The compassionate, hard-working, democratic population of 5.53 billion Valeanians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of New Valean. The average income tax rate is 63.5%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Valeanian economy, worth 888 trillion Maroes a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Retail. Black market activity is extensive. Average income is an impressive 160,655 Maroes, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

People are now buried six inches under, the criminal underworld is awash with sausage smuggling, mining safety laws are often more expensive than what's being mined, and signatures have been replaced with illegible scribbles. Crime is totally unknown. Valeania's national animal is the Eagle, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Cheeseism.

Valeania is ranked 289,566^th in the world and 46^th in Nevadian Mandate for Highest Unexpected Death Rate, scoring 21.74 on the Bus Surprisal Index.