The Backward Republic of Ukiah is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Mister Hedgehog with an even hand, and renowned for its public floggings, zero percent divorce rate, and complete lack of prisons. The hard-nosed population of 27.945 billion Ukiahans have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized, corrupt government prioritizes Industry, with Administration, Education, and Law & Order also on the agenda. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Drawback City. The average income tax rate is 36.6%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Ukiahian economy, worth a remarkable 2,675 trillion zens a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Beef-Based Agriculture, Information Technology, and Book Publishing. Black market activity is frequent. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 95,746 zens, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Restaurants cater to pregnancy cravings, boys who even ask about cheerleading are placed on the Sex Offenders Register, Ukiahian women are all tied up in tubal litigation, and only 'organics' are permitted to be citizens. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Ukiah's national animal is the hedgehog, which can occasionally be seen sifting through garbage in the nation's cities, and its national religion is Zen Buddhism.

Ukiah is ranked 290,606^th in the world and 11^th in Haiku for Least Corrupt Governments, with 79.1 percentage of bribes refused.