The Parliamentary Republic of Tystan is a mammoth, efficient nation, ruled by Attack-Raina Asenova Government with an even hand, and remarkable for its triple-decker prams, public floggings, and ban on automobiles. The compassionate, devout population of 5.268 billion Tystanians are prohibited from doing almost everything except voting, which they do timidly and conservatively.

The medium-sized, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Administration, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Gornsh. The average income tax rate is 75.4%.

The frighteningly efficient Tystanian economy, worth 787 trillion Kesars a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, and Beef-Based Agriculture. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 149,302 Kesars, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.9 times as much as the poorest.

Economists have been named Invertebrates of the Year, caroling is considered a public disturbance, cash-strapped Tystanians scour their bodies for fortuitous zits, and sex offenders find themselves cut off from the ability to repeat their crimes. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Tystan's national animal is the lion, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Christianity.

Tystan is ranked 200,320^th in the world and 180^th in Kelios for Highest Drug Use, scoring 88.62 on the Pineapple Fondness Rating.