The Federal Republic of United States of Medford is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by President Lewis Von with an even hand, and renowned for its smutty television, aversion to nipples, and keen interest in outer space. The compassionate, humorless, devout population of 13.713 billion Medfordians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Healthcare, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Newice. The average income tax rate is 86.4%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Medfordian economy, worth a remarkable 2,950 trillion Medford Dollars a year, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Arms Manufacturing, and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 215,169 Medford Dollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Many politicians are having to do a hard day's work for the first time in their careers, the optimally efficient parking strategy for business commuters is referred to as the "traveling salesman problem", soldiers find that home gadgets and power tools are more effective as improvised weapons than the guns they've been issued, and health inspectors are seen eating black truffle fondue with their bottled water. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. United States of Medford's national animal is the Medford, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Church Of Medford.

United States of Medford is ranked 28,421^st in the world and 925^th in The North Pacific for Most Advanced Public Education, scoring 6,595.56 on the Edu-tellignce® Test Score.